Crochet and Beer

Last year I took up crochet. At our knitting group all the knitters decided to take up crochet and the crocheters tried knitting. As it turns out, I really like crochet. It's much faster and I can do all these cool stitches and it seems easier. Plus, I can make hats quickly without having to use double pointed needles. I have one pattern for the hats and each time, depending on the yarn, I have to frog it several times and start over to get the size right. I made myself a purple one with Homespun yarn and absolutely love it, especially on these cold days.

I also made a blue and grey/silver scarf to wear to the ODU football games. However, it wasn't cold but on one occasion this season. My best girl Lisa has season tickets and invited Bill and I to join her when her husband had a band conflict. (sips sangria) I made a blue hat to match but ended up giving that to my girl Stephanie.

I now have two of my crocheted hats for sale on my Etsy page.

I am enjoying being on Etsy. I've sold 3 things this year and all of them have been shawls. I decided I needed to make more of those and now that I can crochet I figured I'd try my hand at that. I decided to do a very basic double crochet pattern and then have Lisa show me how to do the fans that she just learned and put on a pink scarf. I won't hold it against her that it's pink. It's not like I have to wear it. :-P

So today I started chaining for the shawl. I got to about 200 stitches and then put it around me to see if it was long enough. While I was doing that and not paying attention to the things going on around me, I knocked Bill's beer over into my knitting bag! Funny thing is I had the yarn in there that Lisa refers to as the "devil yarn". I also had just put the other skeins of yarn I needed to finish the shawl. (Insert horrified noise here) So, after soaking up all the beer and tossing my bag into the laundry, I laid out the yarn to finish drying. Most of the beer got on the "devil yarn" thank goodness. However, after I finish the shawl I'll have to wash it. I'm thinking of trying to find some lavender soap to help mask the smell. If it ends up smelling like beer I'll just keep it for myself and make another one. I keep replaying it in my head in slow motion (probably because I'm watching football and they show everything in slow motion).

Before the beer/yarn catastrophe, Lisa came over to do ear candles. My cousin/friend Katie and I have decided to go swimming twice a week to help us get back into shape. (I float/swim differently now since I had the baby and stretched my ab muscles all to hell, but more on that later). On Tuesday I got water in my ear and got all but a little of it out. On Thursday I figured getting back into the water would help get the rest out but to my horror I ended up getting more stuck and now I can't hear out of my left ear. Today is Saturday, I was over this half deaf thing. I tried peroxide and that helped for a second. I tried Swimmers Ear and that didn't seem to do anything. I went bought "wax removal" drops and that did nothing. Lisa had thought ahead (because she's the best) and picked up some ear candles when she was out shopping. She came over to do that with hopes that it would work. It was fun and I got a lot of wax out and some of the water. I still can't hear but some of the pressure is gone. She said to wait and see if it gets better after I sleep and shower. If it's still stopped up I might try peroxide again in the morning since that was the only thing besides the candles that had an effect.

Jackson had mixed vegetable baby food today and seemed to like it. We've been trying different foods one at a time to see if he has any allergic reaction to them before we start mixing them up. We thought he was allergic to bananas but it might be the oatmeal instead. We're keeping him off the oatmeal for now and paying very close attention to the other foods. We've realized lately that we have him a little behind in the baby food realm. He could be using a sippy cup and eating larger amounts of the food in addition to his formula. Now that we realized that, we can move him on along. He's so funny when he eats. Sometimes he makes this "yum" noise and sometimes he says "huh" (not "huh?") and opens his mouth for the next bite. He's a wonderful baby and such a good little crawler. He was flirting with Lisa today when she came over and then played with her after she was done. I'm so glad he's at the stage where he remembers people. He has so many people that love him and this way he can remember them and feel loved. People keep teasing me about when we'll have the next one. I keep telling them I'm taking a break and then I remember that Jackson is 8 months already!! I said I wanted our babies to be at least 2 years apart and no more than 3. That means I'm gonna have to get pregnant in about a year. Yikes!

I need to be making more money before #2 arrives. I'm hoping to pick up some adjunct teaching jobs in Women's Studies. Hopefully something will open up soon or I'll get a promotion. I really love my job now, but I am not paid what I should be for the amount of work, experience, and skill level I'm at. It's complicated, but hopefully soon it will work itself out. (sips sangria)

I'm thinking about changing the name to my blog. Especially now that I crochet as well as knit. It's so hard to think of a name that covers it all though. Maybe it will come to me in a dream, or maybe someone will have a good idea and share it with me. Until then, I remain "Knitting Pidgen".

Jackson Shane 7 lbs 10 oz 20.7 in

(Disclaimer: I share everything so brace yourself)
He's here! Jackson Shane was born May 15th. My midwife had taken me out of work that Monday because my feet had swollen really bad and my blood pressure was up. She wanted me to stay home and put my feet up. On that Thursday (14th) I was doing just that. I had just gotten off the phone with Bill who was on his way home. Franklin was being cute so I decided to give him a treat. I had a little setup on the coffee table so I could reach everything I needed without having to get up (something that wasn't very easy to do). I reached for his kitty treats and when I opened them I dropped the top on the floor just under the table. Hmmmm. I reached down with my left hand. I couldn't reach it so I tried my right hand which I had to reach across my belly with. As I was trying to reach the top, I felt something unusual. My water had broken! I thought "quick run in the bathroom"! Well, there was nothing quick about it. My stomach was huge so it was hard to get up off the couch, let alone quickly. I put one hand on the coffee table and the other on the couch and tried to push myself up. It took me a few tries but luckily I made it. I was happy I made it to the bathroom without making a mess. Little did I know there was more to come! That little bit was just the beginning. I called Bill and told him the news. He was just a few minutes away so that made me feel better. I had been terrified that I would be home by myself when that happened and baby would come really fast before I could get to the hospital. Pregnant women worry about a lot of things, but even when I'm not pregnant I worry. I'm working on that. Anyway, I called the Dr.'s office and got the on call Dr. who told me to time the contractions and go to the hospital when they are 5 minutes apart. I wasn't so sure that I was having contractions. It turns out I was, they just started out really small and felt like light stomach/period cramps. I was timing them about 10 minutes apart once Bill got home. I wanted to make sure I ate dinner since I heard they don't let you eat once you get to the hospital until the baby arrives. Luckily Bill had a work event at lunch and brought home leftovers that we could heat up and eat real quick. We had planned to cook a steak out on the grill that night. So much for that! By the time we finished eating they were 7 minutes apart. So, I decided we needed to get moving. I already had my bag packed and in the car, we just needed to grab some pillows and the bag for Bill and bebe. We left a heap of food for the kitties and headed out the door. Luckily rush hour was over and we got through the tunnel quickly. Bill dropped me off at the front door and went to park. I went in, still able to walk just fine, and sat myself in one of the wheelchairs and waited for Bill. Incidently this was my first wheelchair ride and it was kinda fun. Of course, Bill was walking pretty fast so that added to the fun. He had bags hanging all over him but he managed to hang on to them all and get me up to the maternity floor.

They buzzed us in and I told them I had pre-registered, but I guess the nurse couldn't hear me. She was behind a huge desk and my head was just barely sticking up over it since I was in the chair. All of a sudden, the rest of my water broke. It went all over my shorts, all over the chair, and onto the floor. It literally looked like water (thank god) but I really thought I was peeing on the floor LOL! I just thought I had no control over my bladder or something, but then I realized what was going on. I kept apologizing and was totally embarrassed. Again I don't think the nurse heard me because she just kept asking me for my information to get me registered. I just looked at Bill and almost cried I was so embarrassed. Then it happened again and I just felt so helpless. Here I was sitting in the wheelchair, visitors were checking in and looking at my puddle on the floor and the damn nurse didn't seem to realize what was going on. Finally she heard me apologize again for making a mess on the floor and she was like "Oh, we'll get someone to clean that up" and then wheeled me to my room. I was so happy to get in there and get cleaned up. After a quick shower I had to put on that damn hospital gown. Tell me why they don't make bigger gowns for the maternity floor. Every patient on that floor has a big belly and those gowns do NOT fit! They wouldn't let me wear my own nightgown just in case something went wrong and they needed to do something...I stopped listening to the reason once I realized there was no way around it.

I was texting Lisa because she had planned to be in the room with me and Bill for the delivery to help me through it. However, she was in yoga and didn't get my messages until about 8:30, but then got to the hospital quite quickly. She wasn't expecting me to call because I was scheduled to be induced at 5:00 the next morning so she was taking the night off. I was worried that she wouldn't get there in time, but luckily she did a quick check of her phone and realized what was going on and jumped into action. The family arrived in waves and Bill and Lisa traded places with them to come see me since I could only have 3 visitors at a time. The contractions so far were nothing I couldn't handle with deep breaths. I was only about 2-3 cm at the time so it appeared the process would drag out a bit. Before I knew it it was midnight and the contractions were getting stronger. I was starting to think that maybe I couldn't finish without some sort of pain relief. I had really wanted to do it naturally, but as I sat there and the pain got worse, I realized the breathing was not going to do it for me. I started to tense up and get more uncomfortable as the contractions came on faster and faster and lasted longer. They started out lasting for about 30-45 seconds and by then they were 1 minute and 17 seconds. I was done. I told Lisa, ok, I need something, get the nurse. I decided to go with the epidural since it wouldn't effect the baby. When the nurse with the epidural got there, Lisa went out since I could only have one person in there for that. Bill helped me sit on the side of the bed and then put the little table in front of me to lean on. I noticed he was leaning to his side and I asked him if he was ok. He said he felt light headed. I thought, uh oh, I can't have him fainting on me during this, I have to stay still. So, he switched with Lisa. She held my hands and put her head against mine to help me concentrate on staying perfectly still in this uncomfortable position. I had to have my back bent and my head down so the nurse could get in between my vertabrea. The lady wasn't very friendly (unlike all the other nurses I had met there) and kept poking at my back making sure I wouldn't jump. She wouldn't tell me when she was going to poke me so I was startled and of course I moved. Lisa really had to help me concentrate because if I moved I was not going to be able to get the epidural and I had already made up my mind I couldn't do it without it. She finally finished and it felt awesome to be able to straighten my back. I was not meant to bend that way!

After a few minutes my legs started to feel numb. Lisa was like, here comes another contraction, and I didn't feel a thing. It was awesome! I started thinking, why the hell would I do this without it! It shouldn't have to hurt damn it! However, they had to put a blood pressure cuff on me that checked my bp every 15 minutes. It was an electric one so it did it automatically and seemed to get tighter than normal cuffs. By the time I went home I had little bruises on my arm from it and it kept me up the whole time so I didn't sleep much. It's hard to rest when you have this thing squeezing the bejeezus out of your arm every 15 minutes. Bill, Lisa and I decided to try to sleep a bit. I needed all the energy I could muster and they were exhausted too. Lisa laid out on the floor with a blanket facing me so she could hear if I needed her. Bill stretched out on the chair that pulled out. I tried to lay on my side while avoiding laying on my epidural tube, catheter tube (yep, that came with the epidural but I was oblivious), and iv in my hand. Yeah, I had to get an iv too and that was not fun. They had to put it in my hand because they couldn't get a good vain in my arm. So naturally I felt like I couldn't use that hand because there was a god forsaken needle sticking out of it! Needless to say I woke up every 15 minutes and was not comfortable because I was worried about all my tubes. I did manage to rest a little though. The nurse came in and checked my progress every now and then. The time line at this point is fuzzy, but Lisa wrote down the detailed schedule so I can add it to the baby book.

Let's just say that Sharon, the midwife, came in at some point in the day on Friday and put me on pitossin to speed things up. Around 2:30 Sharon came back in and told Bill to go get something to eat and we would start pushing at 3:00. She didn't want him to get light headed(I guess this happens to a lot of dads) and neither did I. I rested while he got something to eat. At this point I hadn't eaten since about 6:30 the night before. I was starving, but not focusing on it. I had other thoughts to occupy my mind, like when the hell our baby was going to arrive. At 3 she came back and we started the pushing process. Bill was on one side holding my leg and Lisa was on the other. Sharon was sitting at the foot of the bed and they were all coaching me along. I had to take a deep breath and push with all my might while they counted to 10. This is not so easy to do. I really wanted to let out my breath because I was starting to get a headache. Bebe was not moving down fast enough after an hour so she decided to give me a break to rest and let the bebe move down more on its own. I was happy to have the break. It turned out I got a fever so they had to give me tylenol for that. After I rested for an hour, Sharon came back and she basically said let's do this. What I didn't know was that she had the nurse turn off my epidural so I could push better. They told me to push once I felt a contraction coming on. I could barely feel them so I was asking in between "is that one?" Sharon kept saying "One more push, one more push". Then she told me it would take about 11 more pushes and she'd count them down. Well, we got to 11 and it took about 2 more after that. Bill was saying how amazing it was and that he could see the baby's head. I was soooooo tired and my eyes started rolling back in my head. I didn't realize this but Lisa kept talking to me and trying to keep me focused. "Dahling, dahling, focus, open your eyes, look at me, dahling" or something like that. Later she told me my eyes were rolling up. I was so relieved when the baby finally came out. It was such a release! She placed the baby on my belly but it was facing away from me so I couldn't see what it was or the face. Bill was the one that told me it was a boy. I was so overjoyed that all I could say was "it's a boy, we have a boy, I have a boy, etc...". They wiped the baby off and Bill cut the cord. Then they took him over to the table to do whatever it is they do with newborns. Sharon told me I'd have to push a little bit more to get the placenta out. That was easy compared to what I had just accomplished. I was sooo tired and happy that I barely noticed she was sewing me up where I had torn a little bit. She said I had lost a lot of blood and that they'd have to put me on iron because I'd be anemic. I hadn't thought much about the healing process, I was just focused on meeting baby. Once they were done with me they brought Jackson over so I could hold him and kiss him and talk to him before they took him off to the nursery. He was the cutest thing I had ever laid eyes on and I automatically fell in love. Such a beautiful boy! Bill went along with him and Lisa stayed with me. Once the family came in she went home to get some much needed rest. I immediately asked them for food. I needed something! They had a boxed lunch with a turkey sandwich that I scarfed down. I was still hungry so I asked if they had anything else. They brought me a tray with turkey and gravy and something else, I forget now. It had been 23 hours people! I was hungry! LOL Linda helped me fix my hair, it was a mess! I just wanted it out of my face. Somebody was taking pictures so now everyone gets to see how tired and disheveled I looked. But, thanks to blogging, you now know why.

Jackson is now 8 months and crawling. There is a lot that I haven't written about but I don't have it all memorized. He was right in line with all the milestones up to this point that babies are expected to meet. He says things like "baba" or "byebye" and once said "mama" but hasn't said it again yet. He's the sweetest boy a momma could ask for. He's so smart and growing so fast. I have so much fun playing with him and giving him hugs and kisses. I am in love!

P.S. I told you I share everything about pregnancy. Women need to know what really happens because Hollywood has glamorized it. And no, I did not scream or hollar. I was too busy holding my breath.

D (Due) Day

Yesterday was my official due date for bebe. Bebe obviously has other plans because she/he has not yet arrived. Mom came up to take me to my appointment which was nice. It's no fun going alone. Sharon, my midwife, saw me in the hallway and said "are you in labor yet?". I said "No, unfortunately" and she made a sad face. Once she got to the room with me we chatted about what had been going on with me. It seems my water has still not broken, but I'm already at 3 cm dilated. I lost 3 lbs of water weight which is nice and my feet are not so swollen. My blood pressure was up again, but only to 132/60. She gave me another "good exam" I guess trying to get things moving along. Not the most comfortable, but since this was my third "good exam" in two weeks, I was starting to get used to it and it didn't hurt as much. She then told me I was going to be put on a non-stress monitor and after that I could go and she'd see me on Friday when I'm scheduled for induction at 5:30 AM. It's totally elective, but I can't see waiting any longer for bebe...I'm just too damn uncomfortable and starting to worry that things are progressing so slowly.

The nurse, Cara, came in and put on the monitor for the bebe's heart beat and one to see if I was having contractions. She angled it so I could read the chart as it blipped along. I laid there and relaxed and enjoyed the sounds of bebe's heart beat. It was almost like meditating. The line that detected contractions stayed flat the whole time. I figured I wasn't having any. I don't really know what they're going to feel like, but you see things on tv and you assume. So far this has been nothing like tv. I started to panic a little because I was starting to get that "I need to eat NOW" feeling (I think it's some sort of hypoglycemia issue...which I have not had diagnosed.) I need to eat every couple of hours or I get clammy and weak. Just then Sharon comes in to check on me and while she's looking at the print out she says "Hmm, I think you need a soda". I thought she was kidding and she went out of the room. A minute later she comes in with a Pepsi and a pack of nabs. "This woman is an angel" was my first thought. She poured me some Pepsi, opened the nabs and said "this is a new thing, if you stay here long with us you get a complementary snack". She said she'd be back in 10 minutes and then I could go home. I laid there enjoying my snack, the soothing sound of bebe's heart beat and the view of the Elizabeth River and odd shaped clouds floating by. I felt like I was in a spa! It was such a happy moment and I started to think about meeting bebe that I felt a tear streak down my cheek. These hormones are some powerful things! I have been so stressed this last month or so, it was nice to have some time to just sit and relax and think about bebe. I don't usually drink Pepsi, but that was the best damn Pepsi and pack of nabs I've ever eaten!

Mom and I went to lunch in Ghent after my appointment and had a delicious Stromboli. Then we headed back to Portsmouth so I could put my feet up, Dr.'s orders. I have been drinking water like it's going out of style this past week. My feet have been so swollen and this was the first day I had seen my ankles in a while. I'm just glad the blood work they took on my Monday to check my liver came back alright. I was worried I'd have some sort of complication. As long as I rest and keep my feet up and drink my water, I think I'll be just fine. I am concerned that they won't let me eat once I get into the hospital. I don't want to get all clammy and weak just when I need to pull together all the strength I've got to deliver this baby. I'll have to eat plenty today and be sure to eat something with protein in the morning. I'm not happy about having to get up so early, but I'm really ready to have this bebe.

I just hope I can get through the birth process without the need for medication. Fingers crossed!

I probably won't be able to update for a little while anyway because we'll be off having a bebe and then bringing bebe home and getting settled. However, I want to keep everyone updated so I'll try my best. Wish me luck!

Put you feet up!

So, today I go to the doctor for a check up, hoping to get the good news that I'm 5 cm or something crazy like that. I took Momma with me since she's back in town and I don't like to go alone now that I'm so close. I told Bill he was off the hook for these checkups because I want him to save his leave time for after bebe arrives. Mom sat in the waiting area and knitted and tried to chat people up, but no one was really in a talking mood. Gotta love her for trying though LOL :-)

Sharon (my midwife) saw my feet and just kind of gave me a look like "you poor thing". My feet have been swelling up really good for the past two weeks or so, but they were especially puffy this morning. My blood pressure was also up a little bit and I have gained 4 pounds of water weight since last Wednesday. That's less than a week! So, she told me I was done with work and to stay home and put my feet up, drink lots of water and avoid salt. She also had them do more blood work. (Yes, Eric, more blood work!) She wanted to check my liver to make sure everything there is ok. She was optimistic that it's fine, but has to check as a precaution.

So, I sit in the little chair and grabbed the little pill shaped stress ball. Cara tried first. She checked my left arm and hand and then my right arm and hand. She was not optimistic but she stuck me once in the arm and once in the hand and was not able to get it. I saw one of the nurses that was able to get a good vein before so I suggested she try. She used to work at a diabetes clinic so she was known for getting a good stick. Well, she looked and looked and stuck me once but it rolled. Then she called in the Nurse Practitioner who is super woman at drawing blood evidently. She used to work in labor and delivery. Well, she put two tourniquets on my damn arm! I thought it was going to fall off! She stuck me once and it rolled. She said, "Ok, I'm going to try one more time in this other arm and if I can't get it then I'm sending you to Lab Corp." I guess that's what I subconsciously needed to hear because she got a good stick that time. Whew! I hadn't drunk much water because I wasn't expecting any more blood work after the 4 hour blood test about a month ago. So, she gave me two cups of water that I gulped down quickly as I felt myself get hot and cold and hot and cold. No spots though!

I go back on Wednesday for another check up. If an induction comes open on the schedule she's going to call me and get me in, otherwise I'm scheduled for Friday at 5:30 AM for induction. I'm hoping this baby comes today or tomorrow! Until then, I am waiting (not so patiently). Bebe's room is ready, my bag is backed, and the car seat is in the car. I am READY!

Happy Mother's Day

Baby is due to arrive this Wednesday, but I'm hoping he/she will grace us with her/his presence before then. My feet have been swollen for the past two weeks and I think I might have done some damage to my left one from walking around so much in my flip flops. Since my feet are swollen those are the only shoes that fit me and I have been trying to walk as much as possible to help the labor process along. At last Wednesday's check up I was 2 cm dilated already. I go in again tomorrow and I feel like I've got to be a few more cm. We shall see. At least at this point if I go into labor it will be my midwife that delivers me. If I had gone earlier this weekend it would have been a different doctor on call.

The Mommas are coming up this afternoon for a cookout. Since I can't go too far from the hospital in case I go into labor, they are coming to me. The weather is perfect (not rainy or too hot) so we will cookout on the grill and eat out on our deck. I was up and moving around this morning doing stuff and have had to take a break already. I am hugely pregnant!

This morning, Bill went out to get coffee and came back with the sweetest Mother's Day card and an orange lily plant and my first red rose bush! This has been a great Mother's Day already and it's only 12:30pm!

If I make it past my due date they will induce me this Friday morning. I'm hoping bebe decides to join us before then though. I am not thinking about the process as much as I am excited about the end result. Finding out who's been flipping around in my belly these past nine months and what sort of personality they will have is the fun part. I just hope labor is easy and I can do it without medication. Fingers crossed!

Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful mothers!

This time of year sucks!

I used to say that Spring was my favorite time of year. The pretty flowers starting to bloom (even if all the ones in my new yard are ALL pink), the chance to get outside and enjoy the nice weather that's not too hot and not too cold. Well, I still enjoy that part of Spring, but last year and this year, Spring sucks. Last year, my cousin Shane died just before his 36th birthday. And he didn't just die of some tragic motorcycle accident like I always feared would happen. He committed suicide and to this day none of us saw it coming (even with hindsight) and none of us understand why he would do such a thing. From what we knew he had it pretty good. He ran a biker bar and did whatever he damn well pleased. You don't have to be a millionaire to be happy and have everything you need. He had a large group of friends that had become family to him. We only saw him on major holidays, but when we did see him, it was just like old times. I was really fond of Shane, not just because we were related, but because he was a good person and would do anything for just about anybody, no matter who you were. One of my favorite examples of his giving nature is the year he organized his biker family and raised money to buy one of their friends toys for his kids so they'd have a nice Christmas because this guy was having a hard time and could not afford anything to give to his kids. Those of us who celebrated Christmas know there has to be toys or there is either serious hell to pay or some might think their folks don't love them. They don't understand finances, they don't know that money doesn't grow on trees. Shane saw this and immediately chipped in and others followed suit. This friend wasn't his best friend, just someone who came to his bar every now and then and was involved with the "Brotherhood", the biker family. No, it's not like the mob. These are good folks. So, I just don't understand why he would take his own life, just days before Mother's Day and his birthday. He loved his Momma with everything he was, so whatever his "reason" was had to be pretty terrible. He told her he'd see her on that Monday for his birthday and Mother's Day. When he didn't call Mother's Day (Sunday), she knew something had to be wrong, but just figured he was busy or something. A mother knows. Sure enough, that Friday night was the night he died, May 9, 2008.

Well, here it is, almost a full year since Shane died and what's going on with me. I just found out yesterday that I did not get the promotion I was up for. I am not without a job. The way I set it up was that if things didn't work out with the promotion, I would still have an Admin job. It's a good thing I thought to do that or else we'd be in a world of trouble now. We just bought a house. We're having our first baby in just a few weeks. We just had to buy a new car because Bill's went kaput. (Random thought: I wish I could have charged the 45 people I've taught to knit $20...that would have been a nice chunk of change to add to my income) So, this is why I'm up at 6:15 am this morning. I like to sleep in, but I could not go back to sleep once I had to get up and use the bathroom ( my bladder is constantly being tap danced on by bebe). It's heartbreaking...and it's almost May 9th again. You see why I say this time of year has begun to suck?

The bad thing is I've been so stressed out worrying about work and if I would get the job, etc... that I have not been able to really focus on and enjoy this pregnancy. I'm obviously happy and excited to meet bebe, but I have been distracted while this little one is growing inside me. Now's my chance to really put all my energy into the arrival of bebe and learning how to be a Mommy. That's my job now and it will be for the rest of my life. No one can take that away from me. There are no other candidates who are more "qualified". This is my bebe. Bill and I will give this bebe all the love in the world and teach him/her to be a good person and care about other people and nurture this bebe in a way that allows him/her to be who they are/want to be. We were both lucky to have parents who raised us with lots of love and care and encouraged us to be who we wanted to be. They still continue to do that and that's what I want to be able to do for our bebe.

You may have noticed (or maybe not) that I have not updated this blog in a little over a month. Distractions. No more, this forum really helps me work through all the crap that is going on in my life, and also to appreciate all the wonderful things too.

Wondering how I made it through the day yesterday without having a nervous breakdown? As soon as I found out the news, I asked my cousin Katie (who works there too in a different department) to go to lunch with me. I needed an immediate distraction and support. She did just that for me. She knows how hard I've been working and that I do a damn fine job. It was exactly what I needed. Katie and I grew up together early on and then didn't find each other again until I got to college. We're very different, but we have found our way to relate to each other. It's nice being connected with her again. It's like having a sister. I already have a sister, but talk about someone who's very different from me and we have not found a way to relate to each other. Anyway, she had to go back to work so I dropped her off and then contemplated going home. I really didn't want to come home and just sit around the house. I needed more distractions. Obviously I was hurt and angry and needed my friends. I called my best girl Lisa and left her a message about what was going on. Then I just started driving around. I decided I needed some pampering. I headed over to Changes. Before I went in Lisa called me back and we talked about what bullshit it was that I didn't get the job. Anyway, we made plans to go out after all my pampering. I went into Changes and set up an appointment for a pedicure and hair cut. I had been holding out on cutting my hair until I knew I had my interview scheduled. Well, that's not happening, so I am cutting my hair for me. It has been in that yucky in between stage where it just kinda hangs there and has no life to it. Don't get me wrong, I still love my ponytail...it is something I've always worn, but even ponytails got to have some bounce. I enjoyed my pedicure and read O magazine (the issue with Michelle Obama) while she painted my toes "Coney Island Cotton Candy" (not pink...peach). I wanted a French pedicure, but evidently she was the massage therapist filling in for one of their nail specialists. Whatever, I just needed my feet to feel soft and look nice. I might have time before bebe comes to get a real French pedi. Funny that I'm concerned about what my toes will look like during labor. No body is going to be looking at my toes. It will just make me feel better to have them done. Now if I can just convince Bill to help me shave my legs in time, I'll feel much better. I am very much looking forward to bebe's arrival, but not the part where all my modesty goes flying out the window. Lisa's in charge of laying down the law while I'm in labor and making sure there aren't 100 people coming in there to "check" me or hanging around while this bebe is emerging into the world. They tell me I won't care when the time comes, but I have a sneaking suspicion it will cause me some tension and that does not work well for labor. Anyway, after my pedi I was scheduled with their "top stylist" for a shampoo, cut and style. Alan was very nice. I've had two men (besides my dad) cut my hair before and they were too caught up in themselves to hear what I was asking them to do. One guy actually shaped my hair like a box around my face, ugh! I told Alan I wanted some of the length off and just to have bit of a different look than the good old ponytail (while still being able to pull it back into a pony tail...if you don't understand the pony tail, look up Kathleen Hannah of Bikini Kill). He suggested long layers so it would sit nicely but still be able to be pulled back if needed. See, he gets me. My favorite part of any hair cut is the shampoo. I love the free head massage you get (well, maybe not free, I was paying for their top stylist). It's just very relaxing. He didn't talk my ear off too. I really was not in a telling my life story kind of mood. I'm obviously pregnant so we talked about that for a bit. I enjoyed that. He was very quick about the hair cut. He probably could have done it in his sleep, but I didn't care. I just needed the pampering and distraction. My hair looked great. Granted, I will most likely not be able to recreate the style seeing as how I do not use mousse and I am remedial at best with my blow dryer skills. I predict my hair will flip out instead of under like it always does at this length. I know what some of my friends who might be reading this are thinking, no it's not something I wish to learn. I like the convenience of wash and go. I don't want to spend 10-15 minutes of my life doing my hair. If you know me well, you understand. Being girly is just not my thing and does not come easily for me. You notice I didn't not go home and do my own nails (mostly because I can't reach them) or hair. I had someone else do them for me. That's as girly as I get. Lisa has gotten me to wear pearls and that's pretty damn impressive. So, I still had an hour to waste before my already scheduled massage appointment with my favorite massouse, Cara. Thank goodness I had already set that up! I needed more girl friend time so I went by and saw Stephanie at work. She loved the new do, but could tell immediately that something was wrong. There was no plastering a fake smile on my face...it showed that I was upset. We chatted for a bit and she gave me some supportive and encouraging words. She gave me a much needed hug and I was on my way (with a delicious sweet tea of course). I was making the rounds, going to all my girl friends for support. It's nice to be able to do that, to know that they're there for you when you need it most. I literally just drove around the neighborhood at that point not knowing where to go. I finally decided to park near my appointment and look in some of the shops. I went into this health food store to look at their essential oils to see if there were any I wanted. I figure I better wait to try new oils until after bebe arrives. I hadn't been in there long when Aunt Gayle called (she's not technically my aunt, but she's always been like family to me). She had a question about where I had registered for bebe. Bebe is obviously right there with me, but sometimes I get distracted and it's nice to be reminded by others that bebe is on his/her way, especially now. I've heard of post-partum blues, but was about pre or ante-partum blues. These blues are not a result of pregnancy hormones though, just a sucky situation. Anyway, then I walked over to Taste Unlimited and bought myself some lime cooler cookies and sat outside and enjoyed the nice weather. Finally a break from the rain! However, as I'm sitting there mulling over the days events and having to face everybody at work when I go back, I see this sign staring me in the face (song playing in my head: I Don't Care Anymore by Phil Collins...makes me want to play the drums): "Your life is what your thoughts make it". Basically, "snap out of it!" I go in for my appointment a few minutes early and she's ready for me. I have been looking forward to this all month! I forgot to ask what aromatherapy she was using, but I think there was some citrus oils involved. It was very nice whatever it was. I told her my lower back was bothering me just a bit, but mostly it was my calves and feet. Well it turns out there was a lot of tension in my shoulders and hips so it felt good to get that worked out. I tried to listen to the music (waves crashing on a beach and other gentle sounds) but couldn't help but replay what had happened earlier that day. I hope she didn't notice my tears. There were just a few that I couldn't hold back. If she did notice, she didn't say anything. I've been going to her for a bit over a year now. She's wonderful and I would recommend her to everybody. I think she gave me a few extra minutes too. Afterwards she told me about reflexology that could be done to induce labor if I got passed my due date. I told her about Mom being out of town for business a lot lately and how I hoped I'd go into labor while she was in town. I might have to call her on a Friday before my due date and see if that stuff works. I'm 36 weeks now, so I wouldn't do that too early. Maybe the week I'm due. Of course, if that works out, then I'd have this baby on May 9th...I know this is a long post so in case you forgot, that would be the one year anniversary of Shane's death. Yeah, I'm actually due the day before his birthday. Go figure. I'm not sure how Aunt Linda (Shane's mom and my "second" mother) would react to that, especially since if we have a boy we're naming him Jackson Shane. It might be too much for her. I really want Mom to be in town when I go into labor though. I plan too much, I should just let it happen when it's gonna happen.

Anyway, thanks to all my girl friends for their love and support (Erin and Kimberly who I texted with/spoke to by phone too). A big thank you thank you thank you to my husband Bill who has been amazing. He has taken such good care of me and has given me so much love and support I don't think I could ever thank him enough. Today is our 10 year anniversary (of being together). These 10 years with him have meant so much to me and we are more connected now than ever before. It takes a little while to learn each other, but being in that place where you know where they're coming from and what they need and what they're thinking/feeling without having to ask, but asking anyway because people need to be able to speak their feelings, is a wonderful experience. He is going to be such a wonderful father! I am truly blessed to have found him so early in life. It's funny too because once we started talking about marriage and kids, he'd always tell me we'd have kids in 10 years. Well, it's been 10 years and here we are about to have our first bebe.

So, now it's time to find a way to deal with this huge blow to my heart and focus on Bill and bebe and all the love and support coming from my friends and family. It will be a nice shift to not agonize over work or if I got the job anymore. And you better believe I'm going to take as much maternity leave as I possibly can.

Some pictures for your viewing pleasure:


Momma and Daddy to be


Me and Daddy


I can't see my feet, but I can see Bill's

Home, Sweet Home!

It's official! Bill and I are homeowners! We moved in this weekend thanks to the help of our awesome friends Stephanie, Todd, Careyanne, Katie, and Belcher. Also, thanks to the help of our awesome families Jonna, Daddy, Linda, Momma, Nancy and Billy. Stephanie also was a big help with the painting. The Johnsons also pitched in painting the bebe's room and Andy was quite handy with the little fixes we had to get done. We couldn't have done it with out you all! Can you imagine...Bill would have to have done everything pretty much since I'm 7 months pregnant and have to take a break every 10 minutes. Yeah, that would have been a mess.

Our house is beautiful! Our rooms are blue, green and yellow. Nice and bright and welcoming! Franky and Lil' E are already right at home. They were a little nervous at first, but once they realized all of our stuff came with us, I guess they realized we'd be here a while. We have our living room, kitchen, and bedroom all set up. The other rooms still have boxes to be unpacked, but we're doing pretty good for just having moved in. Most of the boxes are filled with our library of books. We are doing that last for obvious reasons. There's no just putting them up on the shelf in this house...they HAVE to be organized. There are so many of them! I mean, hello, a women's studies and a history major! Can we say reading intensive?

This weekend I hope to get the beds and desk for the guest room. I can't wait to get it all settled and have folks over! Partay! We'll have to get the hot tub going too. I can't get in it until after bebe, but that doesn't mean our team of movers/painters/friends can't enjoy it! Today was the first day I made the commute from here to work. It wasn't all that bad. I just listened to the radio and relaxed. It took me about 30 minutes there and 38 minutes back. Not too bad.

Bebe is doing well! My belly is already in the way. I have to learn my limitations and take breaks when needed. We went to the doc last Wednesday and I had more blood work done. This time it was to check for gestational diabetes. Bill came with me to help distract me while they drew blood. I thought it would just be 1 vial....wrong...it was 3! She got me on the first stick which was amazing. However, I started to notice that I had been sitting there for a little longer than expected. When the spots came I realized it was more than one vial that she was taking. Bill just kinda smiled at me and then it was all over. I didn't pass out or get hot/cold so it was successful. That's probably the last time they have to draw blood, but the nurse did say I would probably have to get an IV when I go into labor. I want to avoid that if possible. I'm getting to the point where I can tolerate the blood work now, but having something hanging out of my vein, not cool. Maybe I can get around that.

Anyway, that's the latest update. Maybe now that we're all moved in to the house I will be able to make more frequent updates. Like,new pictures would be nice, right?

2009 So Far....

There is a lot to report since my last post! On New Year's Eve, Bill and I got another ultrasound. The bebe is so big now (23 weeks). We were able to see it's face looking at us, it's legs crossed, it's little heart beating, it's spine, but the ultrasound tech did a good job of hiding the baby's sex. It was moving around and I could feel it and see it at the same time. That was pretty amazing. They said that everything looks normal and the genetic tests I had done came back negative. (Sigh of relief) They have ceased referring to the bebe as the size of various fruits and vegetables at this point. I guess now I'll have to say, it's 11 inches long and about a pound. Bill was finally able to feel the bebe kick this week. He was pretty amazed and I was thrilled that he finally was able to feel it. It's such a strange feeling. I'm being told by various websites that the bebe is able to get REM sleep. So, if I'm sitting for a while, like at work, I may not feel it as much because it may be sleeping (dreaming of playing with the umbilical cord or the sounds it's starting to hear). It's a pretty active baby which makes me happy. We've started to talk to her/him. I sing along to the radio (when I'm alone of course) and talk to him/her when it moves. Yesterday I had my dinner plate in my hand resting on my belly. All of a sudden I felt it nudge my hand. I started laughing out loud because it was a strange thing to happen and it started moving more like it was playing with me. I can already tell that this baby will be a happy one and active.

Weekend before last we started our search for a house. We found one this past weekend and put a contract on it. The next day we found out they accepted our offer! It's the cutest little bungalow in a nice neighborhood. It's got a front porch with a swing (bonus!), 3 bedrooms, 2 full baths, newer counters and cabinets in the kitchen (all appliances convey, even the washer/dryer), a laundry room, a screened in porch with a hot tub (bonus!), a patio/deck (patio furniture included!), a garden area that someone actually used as a garden at one point, a attic with a floor (just needs drywall and paint to be finished), and a detached garage. Oh, and it also has a wood burning stove which Bill drooled all over as soon as we walked into the house. I'm hoping the guy will leave the pile of wood, but we didn't ask for it. It's already been landscaped out front, but I might change the flowers. Pansies aren't really my thing. My father ran a florist for 30 years and was able to make flowers grow in our terrible clay soil back home so I think I've got the perfect helper for that part. We're hoping to close in February a week before the person taking over our apartment wants to move in. This way we can paint one weekend (I won't be painting of course, bebe and all) and move some things in. This will give it a week to air out and then move fully in the next weekend.

We want to paint the bebe's room green and yellow stripes (Bill's idea and I love it!). Our room will probably be some shade of green, most likely a soothing shade. The spare bedroom/knitting storage/guitar room will probably be a blue color. Not sure about the living room. Maybe blue again. Our wedding colors were blue and green so we're drawn to them. Maybe we'll paint the kitchen too if we have time. I'm hoping our awesome friends will be willing to help with the painting since I can participate. This will be hard for me because I like to paint, and supervise LOL!

This weekend we have the inspection scheduled. I hope there are no major repairs needed. We didn't see any, but it's not like we looked under the house. I want to take some pictures of the house when we go for the inspection. I don't know if the guy has moved out yet, but I hope he won't mind.

I want to plant rosemary, lavender, and basil in the garden. Also, probably tomatoes and zucchini and maybe squash. Maybe some red and yellow peppers and Bill would like some jalapenos.

We are VERY excited! It all appears to be coming together. We deserve the good news after the year we just had. 2008 was terrible! All except for this little baby of course.

Oh, and I started an Etsy page! I was thinking I could make a few extra dollars for bebe stuff this way. I had a bunch already made up that's listed and I want to do a section of "knit-to-order/made-to-order". For this I would put up pictures of things I've made before and once it's "sold" I would make the item. This way I wouldn't risk making a bunch of stuff and it not selling. I have had this page for 10 days and no sales yet. I'm thinking there are other ways I can draw more people to my page (adding more pictures, key search words, etc..). Of course, if you know someone who might be interested in a knitted gift or two, please send them to: www.pidgenknits.etsy.com There is a link on this page near the top too.

I also need to post some pictures (bebe belly, etc...) so keep your eyes open for those. I'd like to be able to update this page at least every week. I guess that's the only New Year's Resolution I've made. It's more attainable than the typical ones and I can't exactly be trying to lose weight right now can I! :-)

Bebe kicks!

Sunday as I was getting my monthly massage from Cara at Therapeutic Body Kneads, I felt a strange movement in my belly. I have switched to lying on my side for massage since I can no longer lie on my back. I had the body pillow and was laying on my left side. I was super relaxed (the body pillow is a wonderful invention) and she had the geranium aromatherapy going. I had been looking forward to this massage because my lower back has already started bothering me. As I lay there, just about 10 minutes in to it, I feel a flutter. I thought to myself "what was that? did I just feel the baby?". I waited just a few seconds and there it was again, this time a little bit more noticeable. I giggled a little bit because it tickled and Cara asked me what I was laughing at. I said "I just felt the baby move!". She asked if it had been doing that all week and I informed her that this was in fact the first time I had felt it move. It was comforting knowing that the baby was in there moving around, but at the same time, really weird knowing there's someone in there.

I am finally on winter vacation from work. A whole two weeks off! I so need it! We are going home on Christmas Eve and taking the kitties with us. They will be staying at my father's house and Bill and I will be staying at his folks house. It helps that they live 5 miles apart. I will get them settled and hopefully they will not terrorize Daddy by knocking over the tree or unwrapping the presents. Wednesday night we will join the Johnson's in our yearly tradition of dinner, presents, and lots and lots of laughs. Then we go to church and they take communion and I take pictures of the tree. Christmas morning Bill and I will wake up at his parents house and open presents. Then I will go to Daddy's house and have breakfast with my family. Then Bill will join us for presents. It's a lot of moving around, but it makes everybody happy.

On the 30th we go to the bank to see how much of a mortgage we could afford and start our search for a house. We hope to get one and move in before the baby arrives, but that might be impossible. I'll keep my fingers crossed anyway. New Year's Eve we go for our next ultrasound. I'll be 20 1/2 weeks by then. They'll probably be able to tell what we're having, but we still want it to be a surprise. So, hopefully they'll help us avoid seeing that part of the baby.

I am working on my sister's boa scarf and need to finish that blanket I was working on. I sent out the blanket for my friend Robyn's new baby, Ryan. I am seriously considering starting an Etsy account...I think I said that already. I will take pictures of everything I already have knitted so when I've made my decision, I can go ahead and load everything up.

So, Happy Holidays everybody, whatever your traditions! More in the new year...Happy New Year!

Keepin' Busy!

Hello everybody! I'm still kicking, I've just been busy/tired/unmotivated to type, etc... So, here's what you missed.

I am 18 weeks now. The bebe has been compared to the size of a bell pepper, which is apparently 5 inches. I have not yet felt movement, but I can tell there's something in there because I have increased my trips to the bathroom quite a bit. I now go almost as much as my husband, who has the world's smallest bladder and drinks lots of coffee. LOL!

Last night I decided to go ahead and start sleeping on my side. I read that if you sleep on your back after a certain point you can cut off the circulation to some nerve that would not be good at all for bebe. I'm glad I started this early because it's awkward. I usually end up sleeping on my side anyway, but that's usually after spending the first part on my back getting settled. I will have to be sure to tell my massage therapist that I'm ready to switch to side lying for my massages. I can't wait for mine this Sunday! My lower back is already getting quite stiff. I already had issues with my lower back so I can tell this is going to be fun.

About a week and a half ago I went for genetic testing to make sure the baby didn't have any defects. They said they'd call within 10 days, but ONLY if the test was positive. The Down's Syndrome test evidently has a high false positive rate so once I got over the panic of having to get more blood work done, then I started to worry about that. However, it's been over 10 days and I haven't been called, so I think that's good news. I did just leave a message for the nurse to call me back with the results though, for good measure. A friend of mine made this round of blood work out to sound like I would have multiple tubes of blood removed. However, it turned out only to be one. If you've read my blogs about this and my previous pregnancy, then you know it doesn't matter how many vials they take, it's still a major production. Once again, they had to call in an expert to find my vein. They had this new nurse who used to work for a diabetes center. Evidently people with diabetes get stuck a lot and have issues with their veins as well. She wrapped that damn thing around my arm so tight I thought it was going to fall off, but she got it and then it was quickly over. I took my Mommy with me because Bill had to work. She did a good job of distracting me because she had to look away too and I thought that was funny. Then she found a picture on the wall of a baby in a knitted duck hat that she had to look at as soon as I was done. I was a little weak afterwards, but not too bad. Thanks Momma!

We got to hear the baby's heart beat again this time. Momma hadn't heard it so she was pretty excited. Again it wasn't super fast so I think we're having a girl, but you never know. It was also making this loud noise over the speaker. The midwife said it was because it was moving around in there. Evidently we have quite and active baby! First we saw it dancing on the ultrasound and now we can hear it moving around in there. It was pretty awesome to hear.

We have our next ultrasound appointment scheduled for New Year's Eve. I will be 20 weeks then and they'll probably be able to tell what it is for sure. However, they know we don't want to find out and actually think it's better that way. It's not as hard yet not knowing what we're having. I imagine it will get harder the further along we get, but we're gonna be strong.

I am not looking forward to the aching back and exhaustion and eventually the birth process, but I can't wait for our bebe to arrive! I'm a good feminist and all, but that does not mean I can't love babies and want lots of them for myself. Feminists get a bad wrap sometimes which is unfortunate, because, if we were all honest with ourselves, the majority of us are feminists. Some people just don't understand the term or don't like labels. Anyway, I know I'm going to go gaga over our bebe. It's something that I've always wanted for myself (and my husband of course). I have such a great relationship with my mother, I just hope I can have that with my bebe too.

I sometimes sit and wonder what color hair she/he will have, what color eyes, what birthmarks, what kind of personality, etc... I remember in 9th or 10th grade biology we did a project where we figured out our dominant genes and such which would tell you what color hair and eyes your baby would have. Now that I know that of my partner, I could probably figure it out. I'm sure there's some website that helps you figure that stuff out. It's funny because I had a head full of curly dark hair and really dark brown eyes when I was born, but now it's a light brown and is just wavy. My eyes are still brown, but not nearly as dark. Bill actually had blond hair when he was little which is now brown, but his beard has a reddish tint because of his Scottish ancestry. His eyes are a beautiful blue. No telling what our kids will have, but I know they'll be beautiful!

On a sad note, we got word that Bill's dad's Leukemia has come back in small amounts. It was a year ago (12/11) that he was diagnosed. He went in the hospital for shortness of breath. They told him that if he hadn't come in then, he would have been dead in 2 weeks. We're lucky to have had this year with him and we hope to have many more. He has started some sort of chemo shot and so far he seems to be doing ok. I think the shot will just prolong his life, not cure the Leukemia. I don't think he's a candidate for bone marrow transplant or stem cell treatment, unless something with this shot changes that. We're all hopeful that he'll at least be around to meet his grand baby. We're hoping for a miracle though, and that we'll have him with us for a long time. He's the sweetest and I want our children to know him and what a special person he is. We've been going home to visit him and the family just about every weekend for the last few months. I've encouraged him to write down his family's history, things that wouldn't be on birth certificates or marriage licenses. Not sure if he'll do that so I've been trying to remember everything he's told me about his family and his own life.

On the knitting front, I've been working on a ribbed stitch blanket for my friend Robyn who just had her baby boy, Ryan Mason, on 12/3. I was hoping to have it done by then, but it's only about 3/4ths of the way done. I am also working on a pair of booties for our friend Patti's new niece. Those are lavender with white buttons. The pattern is pretty easy and it doesn't take long to make. I've got to finish those by Thursday so she can take them with her when she leaves town. I've also got a scarf that I'm working on for my sister which is purple (with some pink touches). It's the boa yarn and it's not as hard to work with as I thought. It's actually quite pretty. I still have the two blankets for our baby that I'm working on. I've got time to finish those.

I'm also thinking of starting an Etsy page. That's a place where you can sell your handmade crafts. My friend Tiffany make hair accessories for little girls and sells them up there. She's done pretty well. However, she is a stay at home mom and has the time and space to get a lot made. I would only be able to work on stuff after work and on weekends. I've got a bunch of things made already and there are a few patterns I could whip out pretty quickly. I'll probably make it so that I take requests instead of taking the time to make something big like a blanket and have no one to buy it. I'm still thinking about this though. I also want to organize my photo collection on my computer as well over the break. I have so many pictures on my computer that it is slowing it down. I told the guy who sold me the computer that I take a way lot of pictures. He assured me I would have enough room. I guess he didn't believe me when I said "a way lot"!

Anyway, I'll try to update more frequently. It's fun for me, but I have to make myself get started on it sometimes. If I don't get to update until after the holidays, I hope everyone has a very safe holiday season and finds some time to relax and have some fun!

Heart beats

This Monday Bill and I went to meet with the OB/GYN and got to hear the baby's heart beat. She had no trouble finding it and within no time we were able to hear it. It was not as fast as I thought it would be, but it was faster than mine. Bill's mom said there is an old wives tale that says that boys have faster heart beats than girls. Then, a friend of mine said that had been confirmed by science. So, that tells me the bebe is a girl. However, when we got the last sonogram, it could have been seen as boy parts, but it could also be girl parts...it wasn't really clear. So, we're still in the dark as to what we're having, so that's good. We want to be surprised.

In 2 weeks I have to go back for genetic testing. They draw like 10 viles of blood. Not fun. Unfortunately, Bill can't take off work that day because they will be super busy that week. So, I have my friend Lisa on call to come get me if I pass out or am to weak to drive. I will make damn sure I drink enough water that day so I won't pass out. I've got knitting after that so it is very important that I don't pass out.

Once I get to 20 weeks, the week after Christmas, we go back for our next ultrasound. They know we want to be surprised, so hopefully the baby will keep that little secret to itself.

I am currently working on 3 baby blankets and one scarf, with plans for two more scarves. I recently got a 3rd set of drawers for my yarn. I have one whole set for just cotton yarn. I know, it's a lot. But, it's organized and that makes life better. I have one drawer for Caron yarn, one for my favorite Red Heart Soft, one for fancy yarns, one for baby yarn, one for miscellaneous, and one for projects I need to finish off. Two of the blankets are for our baby, but the 3rd one is for my friend Robyn. She's due before the end of the year, so I'll finish hers first. I am doing a ribbed stitch with yellow, green, and white. Gender neutral colors since they're not finding out what they're having either. The scarf I'm working on is for my sister Jonna. I'm using this Boa yarn that she picked out. It's purple with some hot pink in it. Mostly purple though, so I don't mind working around the pink LOL!

Next week is Thanksgiving so I plan on getting a lot of knitting done. I will go down to Duck on Wednesday after work and hang out with Aunt Linda. The rest of the family will come down on Thursday. This used to be the time of year when I'd get to see my cousin Shane. However, since he died this May, it will be a difficult holiday to get through. We usually play board or card games and he would never play with us because he hated to lose. If he did play, it was usually only for one game. Sore loser I guess LOL! I'm pretty good at card games. Probably because I've been playing cards since I was little. My favorite card game is Spades. Bill won't play with me because he says I'm too competitive. I guess that's because I'm good at it and I enjoy winning. :-) We also usually watch the dog show, but we probably won't do that this year either. Or maybe we will. Then Friday we will do some shopping, of course. I think there is a yarn store down there so I'll HAVE to visit that. I will try to restrain myself. I actually went all summer without buying any yarn, so I can go a day. I have a cone of the xmas cotton yarn being shipped to me at the moment. I want to make some xmas dishcloths for Bill's mom and maybe a few other people.

I'll try to update more regularly. Thanks, Amy, for checking up on me! I'm doing just fine, just haven't taken the time to type all this out. :-)

Dancing Bebe!

Yep, that's right, we've got a dancing baby! As soon as she started the ultrasound, the baby began to move around like it was dancing. Arms and legs flailing around like I had some upbeat song playing in my belly. It was awesome! I couldn't believe how much it was moving around. I started to laugh and then saw the area around the baby move (my belly). It was weird to think it was moving around in there and I couldn't feel it! It stopped, and I guess rested, for a minute and then started dancing again.

I guess the midwife could tell the sex of the baby because she asked if we wanted to find out what we were having. I paused for a second, excited from seeing it dancing around, but then said, "No, we want to be surprised". That was the first time since I've been pregnant that I second-guessed our decision to not know what we were having until it arrived. After the ultrasound I asked Bill, "are you gonna be able to hold out?". He said, "Yeah, for now". So, who knows if we'll be strong enough to not ask at one of the remaining ultrasounds.

I love how we could see more of it now. It has hands and feet and Bill was able to see the fingers. It was kind of a weird angle for me so I missed that part. I loved the dancing though. I called my dad and told him. I thought he'd appreciate it since he loves to dance. Evidently, now that I'm a "city girl", I speak too fast so he couldn't understand my voicemail message. I specifically slowed it down because he has told me this before. I guess I have to speak at the speed of molasses!

On another note, I found my first grey hair today. It was long too! Not sure why I didn't notice it before. I guess that's because of stress at work. But, the semester is coming to a close so it's not as crazy busy. I need to make an appointment with my chiropractor for an adjustment. I wonder if that's ok while I'm pregnant. Guess I'll have to call and find out. I did finally get an appointment with my favorite dentist that I went to practically my whole life. I tried on up here in Norfolk, but he was just not gentle enough and not very friendly. MY dentist knows my whole family and will care that I'm pregnant and be interested in what I'm doing with my life. It's just hard to get an appointment with him because I have to be out of work longer because of the commute from Boykins. It's soo worth it though.

I go back to the doctor on 11/17 and will meet with the actual OB instead of the midwife. They want me to get to know her since she will be the one to deliver the baby if there are complications. If there are no complications, then the midwife will deliver the baby, whatever it is. :-)

Finally...an update!

Hi everybody! Yes, I've been M.I.A. so to speak for a little bit. Honestly, I've been to exhausted to write. By the time I get home at 5 I just want to lay down. I went to the doctor today and got another ultrasound. The baby is much bigger than last time so I'm all excited and ready to write.

Like I said, I've been pretty exhausted and also constantly nauseous. Not fun. My doctor is happy about it though, because it means everything is progressing like it's supposed to. While I was at the doctor today, I asked if I could possibly switch prenatal vitamins. Last time I was on a different one that smelled like vanilla...and was not pink. This one that I'm on now, smells like vitamins and is pink...yuck. Maybe that's why I'm constantly nauseous! She gave me samples of something different and also said that if that didn't work that I could switch to 2 Flintstones vitamins daily. I hope one of these options works...I'd like to feel a little less nauseous!

So, the midwife and nurse practitioner (from ODU...very chipper!) did an ultrasound. I'm 8 weeks and 4 days today. The little butter bean is soo much bigger than my last ultrasound 2 weeks ago! It was amazing! I could see the head, body and feet. The heart beat was really fast (it's supposed to be)! Previous ultrasounds just looked like a dot. Now it looks more human...more than just a dot anyway. The nurse said to me..."You're going to have a very long pregnancy". I think she meant that most women don't know their pregnant until later in the pregnancy and I've pretty much known since a week after I got pregnant. Hey, I'm on top of things. I'm a planner. Ha ha!

We actually bought our first baby stuff last weekend. I bought a pack of onesies! Green, yellow, and white with little animals (no Disney) that say "I love Mommy" and "I love Daddy". Ah! It was so cute! Oh, and I'm also a little bit more emotional. We saw this baby the other day while at lunch and it had the biggest brown eyes (like I did when I was a baby) and I started to think about what our baby would look like and how cute that baby was...yeah, I teared up. Sigh...pregnancy does some crazy things to women...previously I would have just said "aww, how cute" and moved along. I'm not sure if all women go through this during pregnancy...I can only speak for myself.

Anyway, I'm really happy about all this baby stuff! Oh, and I'm due May 17th. That's right around the time of my cousin Shane's birthday. If this baby is born on his birthday, or the day he died...well, let's just say I'd have a hard time believing it's a coincidence.

On another note...I was about 8 weeks the last time I was pregnant (ectopic) and had the miscarriage. I've made it past that point and that makes me happy too. I look forward to the 2nd trimester...the symptoms are supposed to get better by then.

The little butter bean is growing

I don't know what else to call it. We aren't going to find out what we're having because we want to be surprised and don't want to make any assumptions of who this baby will be, what it will like or dislike, etc... I don't want to slip up and assign gender roles to it before it even arrives! We are doing gender neutral colors (green, yellow, black and white) and generic designs (no Disney characters, etc...) I always thought I'd have a girl first, but now I'm thinking this could be a boy. I think by now (7 weeks) it has decided whether it's female or male.

While they were doing the sonogram, we were able to see the little flutter of it's heartbeat. It was the cutest thing I have ever seen. I literally had a sigh of relief. It seems everything is going just like it's supposed to at this point. I'm having the "morning" sickness (with a strong aversion to Beefaroni...ick) and I'm exhausted. When I told my doctor that she said "Yay!" because that means I'm on the right track.

I started prenatal yoga last week and I really enjoyed it. The teacher is now 14 weeks along and the other two women in the class were 32 and 38 weeks. The later one might not be there this week. She was expecting her baby any time. How exciting! It feels like I have such a long way to go! May 17, 2009 is the due date. It's the week my cousin was born and a week before my paternal grandmother's birthday. Mother's Day is on the 10th this year I think. That baby will arrive when it's good and ready. It would be more than a coincidence if it's born on May 14th, Shane's birthday.

I'm going to see Lisa Williams (a medium/she speaks to dead people) in "concert" in October. I don't expect she'll talk to me or any spirits that might be lurking around me, but wouldn't that be the coolest?! I don't know if I believe in that stuff, but so far I have no reason not to.

Not sure if I've let everybody up here know but the names we've picked out are Sophia Rose (Sophia meaning Wisdom and Rose is a family name) and Jackson Shane (Jackson because it's cool and Shane because of my cousin). If Bill had his way, we'd also be getting 3 cats and naming them Tom, Dick, and Harry, or if we just got one it would be Leroy. He enjoys picking out names. If we had an animal for every name he liked...I don't even want to think about all the mess that would cause! Besides, Franklin is even jealous of any attention we give to Eleanor and she pretty much sleeps all day. He would have a fit if there were other animals around to capture our attention. I hope he does well with the little butter bean.

Oh, I'm so excited!

5 weeks 3 days

(it's the grey dot inside the black bigger dot)

That was Wednesday 9/17/08. I think that puts my due date at May 17, 2009 I think. I will know more at my first official OB appointment next Friday. Yay! I just hope there's no blood work involved. We should be able to hear a heart beat then. Woohoo! We're super happy...can you tell???!!!

It's baby time!

Yes, Bill and I are pregnant! Well, I'm the one who's pregnant, but he certainly did his part to help out with that. I haven't updated this page because I could not write anything and NOT mention bebe!

After I wisked my husband off to Charlottesville for a surprise getaway, we still had another day off because of Labor Day (teehee). Bill went home to help his folks do somethings around the house. Since his dad is sick from the chemo, he can't really help Nancy with things like cleaning out Bill's old room. Bill's such a good son. I invited my favorite ladies to lunch and a movie. Momma, Aunt Linda, "Aunt Gayle" and I met at the mall and had lunch in the food court. We killed some time before the movie with shopping. I just went along for the ride. I hate trying on clothes and I certainly don't need to be buying any at this point (of course I didn't know that at the time). We saw "Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants 2" which was pretty good. Then we walked around a little more so we could visit and headed home.

I started thinking about taking a pregnancy test in the movie when one of the characters thought she might be pregnant. Once I get an idea in my head... I had taken a test a week earlier on my birthday that was negative. I figured, "hey, it could be". So, when I got home I took a test. While I waited for the results I reviewed the directions (because I tend to second guess myself). They had an example of the two different results "pregnant" and "not pregnant" (I need it to say the word...none of that 2 lines and one is barely there kinda thing...I need to know for sure). I thought to myself "I deserve some good news, damn it!" I started to look at the "pregnant" example and then back at the test and then back and forth and back and forth as if it would transfer from the paper to the test. "I deserve some good news damn it!" (I was starting to vocalize this now...the power of suggestion maybe?) My mother's voice popped in my head saying "a watched pot never boils" so I decided to see what the kitties were doing. I had just fed them so they were going back and forth taking a bite from each other's bowls, nothing exciting which is a good thing since that meant Franklin wasn't jumping up and down on Eleanor and she wasn't hollaring.

I stepped back in the bathroom to look at my test and there were the results..."pregnant!" "WHAT!? Oh My God, Really? Oh Yay! Franklin, Eleanor, I gotta call Bill! Oh Yay!" I don't know why I didn't wait until Bill was home so he could be there when I got the results. I guess I was thinking it would be negative since I had just gotten a negative test the week before. I wasn't really expecting that answer! I called him and I guess I was a little teary because I said "Honey!" and he said "Yeah?" like he thought something was wrong. I told him the good news and we both said how happy we were and excited. We decided not to tell his parents until we were together. I got off the phone and called Lisa. She was there for me when I needed to vent about the last pregnancy drama so I wanted to share the good news. I planned to tell all my other good friends once I had told my family, and after I had talked to the doctor.

I called Stephanie to see if she wanted to get dinner since Bill wouldn't be back for a while and I could not sit at home after getting the good news. She and I went to dinner at a Chinese Buffett. I had seen a show about dumplings the day before so I was happy she suggested the place. The food was pretty good and we got a chance to catch up. I, of course, had to share the news, I was about to bust. I love to see/hear the reactions of people when I tell them. And I love that I get lots of hugs too. We hung out and had a good time. When I got home Bill and I gave each other big hugs. We're really happy and very excited.

When I went to work the next day I called the doctor and asked if she wanted me to get blood work done. She said that she wanted me to get a blood test to check my beta and progesterone levels (pregnancy hormones). They want to keep an eye on me because of how my last pregnancy went. I went and told my boss after that. I knew I'd have to take some time during the day to get the testing done so I needed her to know. She is very happy for us and I can go and get the tests as needed.

Wednesday I went back to Labcorp. I wasn't nearly as nervous about it now since I had been there so much in the past couple of months. There was no one in there so I thought "this will be a breeze". Wrong! They hadn't faxed my paperwork there yet so I had to get them on the phone. 30 minutes later the fax arrived and they took me back for my test. The lady was one I hadn't had before so that made me a little nervous. I told her that I have deep veins and that if she does it quickly I won't faint on her. She did a pretty good job and I didn't even get woosy. So, all in all what should have taken 5 minutes took an hour. I wont go anywhere else to get blood drawn though because they all do a great job with me. Or so I thought...

I got my test results the next day and they said "Yep, you're pregnant, but very early." She asked me how I even knew I was pregnant. I told her I was on top of things considering last time and because I'm really really excited about starting our little family. She told me to go Friday to get another test to make sure the numbers are going up. Friday I went in and there was a lady I recognized and a new guy. "Oh no, I'm gonna end up with the new guy!" I did, oh lord. He was very pleasant and I found out that he was just helping out that day and usually works at a physician's office in the lab. Ok, a little better. He was very courteous and told me everything he was doing. I really didn't need to know, but whatever. He poked my arm a little longer that I'd like and left the needle in a little long, but I didn't faint. Yay!

The results wouldn't come back until Monday so we decided to tell the parents over the weekend. Hurricane/Tropical Storm Hanna was headed for us so we decided to tell the parents Sunday, but since we were going to see Momma on Saturday she would be the first to know. Well, actually, my sister found out first because I had to get her help in getting Mom to agree to get breakfast with us and skip the beach (that was before I knew about the storm). Saturday morning we go over to my sisters where Momma was staying. I asked her if she wanted to see some pictures before we went to breakfast (she was assuming I meant the ones from Charlottesville). I turned on the camera and showed her a picture of my pregnancy test. She said "When did you take that?" I told her I took it Sunday and it sunk in finally that she was gonna be a grandma, or as she wants to be called a "Big Momma". It's funny because she's barely 5ft tall. Later on when she called her sister, she suggested that Momma go by "Grand Ma Ma" which would suit her southern belle side.

Sunday Jonna drove home with us and we dropped her off at Daddy's while we went to tell Bill's folks. Nancy had given Bill a catalog that had a diaper bag in it. She had suggested that later on maybe she could order it for us. So, we brought the catalog back and Bill pointed out a few things he liked. Then he turned to the diaper bag and told her she could go ahead and order it. She looked over at me and I gave her my biggest grin. She started jumping up and down and clapping and saying "Ohhh!". Needless to say she was very happy. Bill's dad missed the whole thing because he was reclining in the next room. He came in to see what all the fuss was about and started tearing up a little when he figured it out. Yay, lots of happy faces!

Then we went over to Daddy's for lunch. Aunt Linda was there and I offered to show them some pictures (they assumed from Charlottesville). Once Daddy put on his glasses he saw the picture of my test and smiled and gave me a big hug. Then I showed it to Linda and she started giggling. Yay! Happy faces! I looked at Aunt Linda and told her I'd probably be due in mid-May. I looked at her because it's right around Mother's Day and her son Shane's birthday (he died of suicide in May right before his 36th birthday). I think it was meant to be.

I got my test results back today and my levels have doubled, yay! I will go again on Thursday to make sure they're still going up. I have a feeling there is much more blood work in my future. Maybe once I get out of the first trimester they'll stop sticking me with needles. I can only hope!

Surprise Getaway!

You're leaving? Can I go? I can pack really really quickly!

I cooked up a scheme to wisk Bill off to Charlottesville this weekend! It has been a success! I told him we were going on a little trip and wouldn't tell him where. He played along and didn't do too much guessing so as not to ruin the surprise. I took him straight to Monticello when we got into town. He's seen it from afar but never toured it before. I thought this would be lots of fun for him and I could get some pretty cool pictures. The views here are awesome!

The tour was really interesting and I got some ideas for if we ever build our own house. He had two big skylights that would help with power bills and made the room nice and bright. They also had a lot of the arches with a keystone which are very strong. I like arched door ways. The grounds were green and everything was blooming.

Then we went to dinner at Scotto's Italian restaurant. Have you ever had fried cheesecake with bananas? If not, then you must find it somewhere and try it. Delicious! The rest of the food was good too, but that was a great way to finish a meal.

Since UVA was playing USC today, there was no way we would be able to walk around the campus, so we skipped that today. Tomorrow we will head over there and hopefully see their special collections library. My friend Bobby (who graduted from UVA) recommended Micheal's Bistro so we'll probably stop there for lunch. We're heading back to town tomorrow and will still have Monday to relax. Nice.

A few pictures for your viewing pleasure....



















The coolest flower I've ever seen! French Striped Marigold



I love purple!



Excuse me just a second...

Where to begin...

I've been slack on the blogging lately. I have been working so hard that I haven't taken the time to sit down and reflect on what has been going on. So, let's start with the birthday festivities.

Friday Bill and I met up with Lisa & Kevin, Stephanie and her friend Rourke at Carrabbas. I like that place because they have a dish called "Chicken Brian" which has sundried tomatoes, basil and goat cheese! (Sorry Eric) So, that's what I got. I have sworn off all alcohol because I'm hoping the baby thing will happen sooner rather than later and I want to be prepared. So, I got a "virgin" pina collada and it was quite tasty. We had a great time hanging out and we decided to extend the evening and go bowling! Yes, bowling! It was so much fun! I turned out to be pretty good at it, even though I didn't have the "form" that everybody else seemed to have. I made several strikes and spares! I was very impressed with myself. Bill played on a league when he was in junior high so he turned out to be pretty good. A few times I screwed up and Bill tried to give me some pointers. I tried to follow his instructions and it just made things worse so I went back to my own style (just throwing it and not thinking about it). Hey, whatever works! They turned the lights out and put on the black lights on and started playing music videos. They were trying to distract me but it didn't work. I still finished with 112 (which is pretty good in my eyes), but Bill beat my by one point. I said "wait a minute, who's birthday is this"! It was lots of fun and I hope we can do it again soon.

Saturday Bill went out and got me breakfast from Starbucks. My tea and a bagel. He gave me my presents and a card. The card had a picture of a kitty that looks just like Franklin. Inside was a cd he made for me of our story through music and tickets to see Lisa Williams. She is a medium and has a show on Lifetime. I'm interested to see the show. I'd like to believe that she can really talk to people who have passed. I'd like the think that she'd pick me out of the crowd and give me a message from my recently deceased cousin Shane. But if that doesn't happen, it will still be interesting to see. We listened to the cd and I loved every song. It brought back a lot of memories and it meant so much to me that he put all that thought in it. Such a sweet husband I have! Then we went to the mall to use up my giftcards. I was looking for a notebook to use to jot down my thoughts. I'm thinking of how I can share my story with other women and let them know that they're not alone. So, I'm writing my thoughts out until I feel like I have enough to put all together. I didn't find one so we walked around the mall and shopped a little. Then we went to lunch at CPK and I got the Thai crunch salad. Tasty! Since we didn't find a notebook, I decided, it's my birthday, let's go to Office Max! Those of you who know me well, know that this is fun for me. I have come to the conclusion that I love office supplies because my birthday is right before school starts so when I go out shopping for my birthday, that's what I find. I found a notebook! It's the perfect size and has a nice soft blue cover. Bill said he had an idea about what to do for dinner, but that he wanted to go home and change first. So, we go home and I grab the shopping bags to take inside. While I'm walking up to the door, I notice a bunch of people standing next to the garage and a Happy Birthday sign. Yay! I love surprise parties, especially when I have no idea what's going on! Lisa, Kevin, and Stephanie had come over earlier and set everything up while Bill distracted me. They were cooking corn, burgers and hotdogs. Bobby, Stephanie and Tina were there too. After a little bit Luce and Todd showed up with Mia and Belle. It didn't take me long to have that baby in my arms. LOL! So, we partied it up and had a great time. Then they brought out a cake! Coldstone cookie dough icecream cake. Yay! I have great friends!

Sunday we took it easy and then Bill surprised me with a dinner with my family at Cheesecake Factory. Melissa and Chad came too because they're part of the family too. :-) The food was TASTY! I got chocolate mousse cheesecake for dessert....yuuummm! I was happy to see my family. It had been a while since I'd been able to spend time with most of them and I miss that.

So, all in all, it was a fabulous birthday weekend! Thank you honey!!!

Whew, that's a long blog entry! I'm gonna have to update more often...this is tiring! :-)